Monday, March 3, 2014

Goodbye, Mean Reds.

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I am so thankful for the past week.

As admitted in my last post, the winter blues were starting to settle in my heart the past few weeks. Some days, it even felt more like those mean reds. Let me explain:

Have you ever seen Breakfast at Tiffany's? I watched it for the first time at a slumber party in middle school, and quickly fell in love with the movie and with the character of Holly Golighty. Holly's carefree attitude (and impeccable wardrobe) seemed so admirable to me. "It would be SO cool to be in my twenties, living in New York City, hosting cocktail parties in my loft, and going on fun dates with someone as handsome and as well-dressed as poor ole Fred!!" My brace-faced, middle-parted self was quite enamored with the idea.

 Now, I'm in my twenties, I live in a place COMPLETELY opposite of Manhattan, yet I still love Holly. I watched the movie some time last year and thought to myself, "She's carefree, but she's also afraid...she's restless! Like me!" There's a particular scene where Holly tells Fred about when she get's the mean reds. Basically, she describes anxiety to a tee. She's scared but unsure what exactly is scaring her. I mean, if I was living in a messy apartment with unpacked boxes and no job..I would be pretty anxious, too! ;)




Like a much-less petite Holly, that's what I had been feeling these last few weeks. I felt anxious with no true reason to feel that way. It was as if that dern devil kept whispering in my ear, telling me I would never quite get to "there"...and that scared me. With retaking the bar, constantly being reminded that my career must take the "backseat" to my husband's (another phrase that needs to be eliminated from military spouses' repertoire. You have a driver's license, too, girlfriend.), feeling unsettled at work, etc...I needed to go to "Tiffany's". I prayed for the Lord to guide my steps and help me guard my heart in the process. I wanted to find joy in an uncertain season.

THEN, my parents came to visit us here in the 'Sip, where they personally dropped me off at my exam both days, took us out to delicious dinners, and really, just loved on us. My mom and I had a whole day of shopping and sharing wine and laughs. We also shared the happenings, big and small, our lives and what Jesus has been doing in us. It put things in perspective for me and gave me joy.



Then! I had the weekend off, it was 73 degrees, I got to snuggle with Scout, and I started reading Crash the Chatterbox by Pastor Steven Furtick of Elevation Church. I had lots of time to read my Bible on the porch, listen to All Sons & Daughters Pandora, go on a run outside, and even get some iced coffee. I had found my  "real life Tiffany's".

To top off a great weekend, I also had a conversation with a great friend from church who happens to be in a similar situation, and we shared these feelings of restlessness- feelings of the mean reds knocking at the door of our hearts. Where do we go next? What is the godly approach to the stirring up that we feel? Then, we determined, it is OK not to know exactly what tomorrow holds, or to never fully feel "unpacked". We believe in a God who knows the plan, who has already spoken the pages of our lives in to existence, and who planted  these passions and dreams in to our hearts. He has put so much life in to us and has so much in store for us...there should not be room for the mean reds.

Why am I going through all of this? Rambling on? I'm not really sure. But maybe you too are in a restless season. You know that you are blessed, and that God has got it taken care of, yet you're scared. In this, even when things don't seem so settled, or if we find ourselves being scared about what the future holds, let's proclaim these truths, out loud even:

 "HE is before ALL things, and in Him all things hold together."!

"Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving present your requests to God."!

"The Lord goes before you and will be with you; he will never forsake you."!

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Then go buy some furniture and give the cat dog a name! ;)


Love ya, mean it-
Lizanne


5 comments:

  1. Love your blog. Best of luck with the bar exam!

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    1. Sorry for the crazy-late reply, but thank you, Alecia! Hope you're doing well!

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  2. Praying for you dear sweet niece. I love your blog ---- it is so uplifting!
    Love, Aunt Susan

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  3. I can definitely relate to this post in so many ways right now! My husband is in the military (Guard) and we've moved twice in the last year. Luckily now we're in NJ indefinitely, so it's time to really get settled. I stopped working when we got married a year ago and I've been feeling restless ever since. At first it was just because I went from full-time to nothing and I had to find ways to spend my time, but now I've been "unemployed" long enough that I feel like I need to get out there and get some socialization and contribute to society. As nice as it is to be home to do what ever I feel like doing and have dinner on the table every night, I think I'm ready for something else. I just don't know yet what that is. ;) Thanks again for this great post!

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    1. Hi, Jessie! Thanks so much for the comment. It's so nice to know that others can relate! I'd love to pray for you as you look at and consider your options! I started following your blog, it looks so cute! :)

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